come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
