I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
