She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
high people should be assigned attendants
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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