Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
