just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize