i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
