Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
