So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
