Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
