He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
