I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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