U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
