Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
