i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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