After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
