then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
