Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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