I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
