the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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