Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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