Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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