So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
