She's JV to your varsity
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
