Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
