He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
