She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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