Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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