You're completely useless in the revolution.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
