brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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