if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's on the porch naked. Help.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
