I cockslap morals
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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