I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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