then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize