And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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