jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize