That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
