end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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