i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
