Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
