He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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