Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
