I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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