Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize