she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just gift wrapped bread.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i out mim tonsoeep
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