If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
