honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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