I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
