Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
