Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
