what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My bed smells like the plague
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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