Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
