if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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