My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
