ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize