Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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