Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
