So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize