Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
