If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
