we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
