she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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