How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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