I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize