Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
