I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
