He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
