So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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