All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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