the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
