I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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